Roxanne Castillo

Lung cancer has given this mom perspective on how to live with grace — and the knowledge that through community, anything is possible.

Help Single Parents Like Roxanne Fight Cancer. Visit Roxanne’s fundraising page by going to gofund.me/9e18b13b5.

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Family comes first.

All families are unique. Tell us about yours.

My family started when I was 16 years old. I had a beautiful daughter named Briana, and at 18, I had my second daughter Ahnarae. At age 35, I had my son Sylis. Sylis is a middle school student, and I’m so proud to have the opportunity to homeschool him.

Every family has its own traditions, rituals or inside jokes. What are some of yours?

One of my most memorable rituals I would do when the girls were growing up and continuing now with Sylis, is at the end of every school year I would go on campus and surprise them with balloons, confetti, signs and silly string to celebrate another successful and fun end of the school year. It always put a big smile on my kids’ faces and ended with laughter and fun memories.

When did you know you wanted to be a mom?

I knew I wanted to be a mom when I first found out I was pregnant. I knew that by making the choice to continue my preg-nancy it would be challenging, but I was determined and I rallied up a great support system at school and with my family. I knew that all the love that I had in my heart would translate to my baby and babies thereafter. It makes me think of that saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” I was grateful to have had that village.

Tell us about one of your proudest mom moments?

It’s being a teenage mom, graduating from high school, working and continuing my education in the medical field successfully, all while raising my daughters and my son as a single parent with a supportive group of people who love and care about my little family just as much as I do. The most recent proudest moment of my life is being a mom of three and still showing up and being present for my kids through sickness and health.

Now tell us about one of your most humbling mom moments.

One of my most humbling mom moments is being given a death cancer diagnosis from a doctor, which is what happened to me in April 2022. I was 45 years old and told that I have stage 3 lung cancer. I vehemently denied the results were mine and that there was a patient mixup being that I’m not a smoker. With that being said, it was explained to me by my current oncologist that it’s genetic, and

I have a gene passed from my grandmother.

How humble would any mom have to be to explain a diagnosis like this to your kids? Especially with no real answers to their questions and unequipped to handle this heavy burden, and then having to translate this feeling and information to your children. As time has progressed, I have my ups and downs but I know for sure that what’s keeping me going is my children. I refuse to give up!

We’re all moms so we know that no one is perfect all of the time, or even some of the time. Tell us about your most recent “Mother of the Year” moment. You know, like forgetting to pick the kids up from school.

I’ve had to go into time-out a time or two because I had to cry it out quietly. Sometimes being a mom is overwhelming, and it gets hard because I don’t have all the answers or energy to keep up, and I’ve learned that that’s okay. It actually helps me to reset and decompress.

You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say...

Clean your room please. Okay, that’s it…I’M NOT GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF AGAIN. Okay, never mind, I’ll do it.

What are you enjoying the most about parenting right now?

I enjoy seeing the different dynamics between my girls and then my son, not to mention the 16-year age gap between Bri, Ray and then Sy. I love learning, so it’s awesome to watch and listen and to be a part of how the girls mature and handle social awareness, and how they communicate with each other and to the public. Sy practices the same skills taught to him. I actually have learned to understand my children in different ways. It’s really cool, and I’m honored and blessed to have really great kids.

No one works harder than mom.

Tell us about a recent achievement you’re proud of, or a personal passion or talent.

I have a talent for arts and crafting, and repurposing used fabrics and materials. I love fashion! I’m also passionate about being involved within my community, helping where I’m needed, standing and uniting with others and finding resolution to conflicts resulting in peace, fairness and happiness.

Do you have a goal you’d like to accomplish within the next five years?

It’s really simple for me. In the next five years my goal is to be cancer-free, live long enough to witness Syliss graduate from high school, and see my kids manifest their dreams and hopefully see my little family grow. I want to be alive to be a grandma one day.

I am also starting a nonprofit here in Salem for single parents with children in the home who are going through cancer treatments. I have a lot of friends who are in nonprofits here in Salem, and I would like to incorporate my children and give them a purpose during this cancer journey. I believe this is a huge need, as cancer patients are becoming younger and younger and finances are hard when you’re sick.

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.

Where did you grow up, and how did it influence you?

I grew up in San Jose, California. My city influenced me to never give up, only the strong survive. My city also influenced my Hispanic culture, to embrace it and be a proud Mexican-American woman, and to appreciate and give respect to my ancestors and my culture.

What do you think is the most important life skill or value your parents taught you?

The most important values that my parents taught me was to let my yes mean yes and my no mean no. My word is my bond, and that is how I gain the respect of people and my peers. One of the other values I was taught as a child growing up was loyalty. My parents would say to me, “You will never get ahead in life respectfully by cheating and stepping on the necks of others. Stay loyal to yourself, and respect the people that came before you and after you.”

What is the quality you like most about yourself?

I’m adaptable in any environment comfortably and effortlessly. I love to be social and meet new people and see new and interesting things.

Tell us something about you that would surprise people who don’t know you.

My uncle played for the San Diego Padres. His name is Tony Castillo, and he was their catcher in 1977.

Listen to mom

What’s the best advice you’ve received from another mom?

The best advice I received from another mom was from one of my best girlfriends. Having my third baby at the age of 35 I had a lot of questions while Syllis was growing up to now being a teen. The best advice was to learn, love and understand my son’s love language, continue to extend grace to him and know that just because he is a child, life’s circumstances do not take away from him experiencing the same feelings and emotions that adults do. We all need to take mental health days, and he’ll be better for it.

What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is.

Life is messy but find your village; don’t be afraid to find community. It’s okay to ask for help. Surround yourself with opportunities for you and your family to grow. Through community, anything is possible.

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