Annie Dutcher

Showing up and giving back matters most to this mom of four.

Family comes first.

All families are unique. Tell us about yours.

My husband Lance and I have been together for 18 years and married for 11 years in October. We met while golfing at Springhill one night after work, and that’s where he ended up proposing. I met his two boys when they were just ages 2 and 7, and I have been proud to be their bonus mama.

I joke that I fell in love with Trent and Conner first: they were a light in my life and continue to make my world go round. Conner is now a junior at Oregon State University studying business, and Trenton graduated from OSU in 2022, also with a business degree. Kingsley is in fourth grade and Macie is in second, both at Santiam Christian. We have two tuxedo cats, Benny and Remie.

When did you know you wanted to be a mom?

Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a mom. I was labeled the “baby stealer” because I’d walk into a room and want that baby handed over.

What is something you swore you would never do before kids that you now do?

I definitely go through the coffee drive-thru with PJs on at times, and if I am extra lazy, every once in a while I will have it door-dashed to our house. Not something I am proud of!

You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say…

“Be nice to each other. Someday he/she will be your best friend.” I can hear my mom saying it to me and my sister, and I never believed her…until it was true. I don’t know what I would do in this world without my sister.

No one works harder than mom.

We know that being a mom is a full-time job. How do you balance (or not) motherhood, activities, work, volunteering, household responsibilities, and life in general? What sometimes falls through the cracks?

Being a mom and feeling my age more and more (ugh), finding balance is tricky. I try to be more present when we’re home, which means I’ve had to let go of constantly tidying, organizing and trying to make everything look perfect. These days, the kids are responsible for clearing their own dishes and picking up after themselves, but I’ve accepted that the vacuum doesn’t need to run daily and, yes, the laundry sometimes piles up. The biggest game changer? I hired a house cleaner. (Even though I’m totally that person who cleans before the cleaner comes and there is no shame.) Honestly, it’s been a huge help for my sanity.

Tell us about your work or volunteerism outside of the home.

Since joining my husband in our family business in 2021, where I handle most of the HR-type tasks like payroll, licensing and all the glamorous behind-the-scenes stuff, my daily life has definitely shifted. I spent 15 years at Samaritan before that, and while I loved my time there, this new season has given me a lot more flexibility to be involved with the kids and their busy schedules. My husband works incredibly hard for the business and our family, and he’s freed me up to be more present with the girls, which is something I’m really grateful for. When the boys were younger, I’d go into work at the crack of dawn just so I could still do school pick-up. It’s always been a juggle, but somehow it works.

These days, most of my volunteer time is at my daughters’ school. Fridays are my day to help their teachers with whatever they need, copying, organizing, laminating — basically anything that saves them time and keeps their sanity intact. Teachers are superheroes with tiny budgets, so if I can help even a little, I’m all in.

I also recently joined the Board of Directors for the Boys & Girls Club of Albany, which has been such a humbling experience. The way the staff pour their hearts into the kids in our community is inspiring. It’s been an honor to support their mission in any way I can.

What have you learned professionally that has helped you as a mom?

One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that kids need to feel heard. Sometimes they need to cry, yell or just let it out and not to be disrespectful, but to process big feelings.

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.

Where did you grow up, and how did it influence you?

I have always been an Oregonian. I grew up in Woodburn, where my parents still live in my child-

hood home. I have one older sister, Nicky. Woodburn was a diverse community. At home, things were strict but full of love. My parents were hardworking and had clear expectations, especially when it came to respecting others, doing well in school and staying grounded in our faith.

We went to church, I played softball, and family gatherings were constant — always surrounded by cousins, aunts, uncles and a lot of food and laughter. That foundation stuck with me. Faith and work ethic are still core to who I am, and I definitely see my mom come out in my parenting style. I can still hear her voice like it was yesterday: “Don’t smack!” and now I’m the one saying it to my kids as well as hearing them say it to others.

Which good habit do you wish you started earlier?

Stretching. It’s so important for your body! And a well-rounded skin care routine, including daily sunscreen on your face.

If you could instantly have one new skill (i.e. foreign language, musical talent, eyes in the back of your head, etc.), what would it be?

This might sound a little funny coming from a mom in her 40s, but I wish I could instantly have amazing basketball skills. I’d love to be able to play alongside Trent and Conner — both of whom grew up with basketball. Plus, it would be awesome to help Kingsley as she’s starting to take the sport more seriously. Maybe the better skill would just be to be more athletic in general, as I’ve always wanted that.

Who is your favorite fictional hero?

Chilli Heeler (Bluey’s mom)

Tell us something about you that would surprise people who don’t know you.

I’m a certified scuba diver…who’s never actually gone scuba diving beyond passing the course in the Puget Sound. I passed the course, got the card and then life happened.

What keeps you up at night (apart from kids, of course)?

All the things: laundry, did I ever send that email at work, when is this license due for renewal, did I schedule the repair, how should I redecorate this bedroom, did Macie get her reading time in yesterday, etc. The hamster wheel starts spinning.

What keeps you sane?

Coffee, Jesus, my therapist, every-other-week massages, if not weekly. And my husband — he has a way of grounding me when I get in my own head.

Listen to mom.

Is motherhood what you expected? What surprised you the most?

Motherhood is so rewarding and yet so much harder than I expected. I knew it would be a big responsibility, but nothing truly prepares you for what it feels like to be responsible for shaping a life. These little humans eventually go out into the world, and you’re constantly hoping and praying you’re doing it right. What surprised me most is just how different each of my children are. They come with their own personalities and their own needs, and what works for one doesn’t always work for another. Learning how each one ticks and trying to parent them individually while still making things feel fair has been a challenge I didn’t see coming.

But the biggest surprise, in the best way, is the depth of love you feel. It’s not something you can explain until you’ve experienced it. It’s fierce, unconditional and humbling. Motherhood has stretched me in every way, and while it’s not always the perfect picture, it’s the most meaningful role I’ve ever had.

What advice would you give your younger mom self? What do you wish you knew then that you know now?

Stop worrying so much about how it will all turn out. As parents, we often want to know what the future holds or what our kids will become, if they’ll make good choices, if they’ll grow into kind, responsible adults. But the truth is, some things are out of your control. Influence matters, but so does grace. Focus on what you can do: be present, laugh with your kids, make memories and lead by example. Be the kind of person you hope they become and show them that family matters deeply. That’s what they’ll carry with them.

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MOMs love local…

We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite…

…shop to pick up a gift for friend: Restyle in North Albany

…coffee spot: I’m a Dutch Bros girl, but “the Brooke” at The Brim is a favorite too.

…hair salon: Lyon’s Den Hair Studio

…restaurant: The Barn at Hickory Station

…local park: Gibson Hill Park

…any other local places you love: Boys & Girls Club of Albany, Mid-Willamette Family YMCA

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MOM’s favorite…

Tell us about your favorite…

...dice games: 10,000 and LCR Left Center Right

…words to live by: Make good choices.

…binge-worthy TV or podcast: Friends

…way to get out of making dinner: Ask my husband to grill.

…parenting philosophy: Right now it leans heavily on natural consequences.

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