Deanna Rivera

As a cancer survivor, this mom of three knows firsthand that motherhood can carry you through tough times.

Family comes first.

All families are unique. Tell us about yours.

My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years. Levi and Jensen live with us and my daughter lives with her husband, Grant, in south Eugene. She’s a therapist and he works for Emerald Valley Golf Club. They have my grand dog, Olive.

Jensen goes to Lane Community College, studying cybersecurity, and he works for FedEx. Levi works for Cinemark and is a junior in IHS/full IB at Sheldon High School. We have a 20-year-old cat, Mirabelle, and a 14-year-old Bichon Frisé, Kelso.

When I was 18, I became a Big Sister through Big Brother/Big Sister to a 9-year-old girl. We remained close and eventually adopted each other as life-long sisters. My friends and church family are a part of my family, also, and I enjoy spending time with them.

Every family has its own traditions, rituals or inside jokes. What are some of yours?

Levi and I are part of the Danish Brotherhood. He goes to a Danish camp every year, and I grew up in Eugene going to a Lutheran church with strong Danish roots. For the past 15 years, I have been the Communications Coordinator for Bethesda as well as a youth leader, and I help with the events.

We really love camping and try to go multiple times a summer. We also love to travel around Oregon and explore new places. But regardless, we return over and over to the Oregon Coast. I grew up camping over there almost every weekend throughout the spring, summer and fall of my youth with my parents and grandparents on the Siuslaw River.

When did you know you wanted to be a mom?

I wanted to be a mom early and had Emily when I was 23, which was too young, but back then it was pretty normal to get married and have kids at a younger age. A lot of my high school friends have kids about the same age. I think because I was an only child, I longed for a larger family.

Tell us about one of your proudest mom moments.

My daughter just got married and that was awesome seeing them all together, so grown up. It made me light up inside. I’m very proud of each of them for following their dreams.

Emily got her master’s degree and became a therapist last year and has been practicing at Applegate Counseling. I’m very proud of her for overcoming the challenges of COVID and my battle with breast cancer to achieve that dream. I’m also very proud of her for her support during my treatment. She was there for me every step of the way.

Jensen has been traveling quite a bit and is working on his degree, which is huge since he had a harder time in high school and graduated in 2020, which was very challenging, so I’m very proud of him for that. He was my rock through treatment, and I was and am grateful to have him close by.

Levi is an academic/straight-A student. He loves history and is also an artist and musician. He plays in a band called the One More Time, and last summer, traveled with a music group through OSU to Europe. They performed in several countries. He raised most of the money for that trip through his job and fundraising efforts.

No one works harder than mom.

We know that being a mom is a full-time job. How do you balance (or not) motherhood, activities, work, volunteering, household responsibilities, and life in general? What sometimes falls through the cracks?

Everything sometimes falls through the cracks. I’ve always taken on too much but it’s part of who I am. I try to balance and adjust when things are too much. I ask for help when I need it and I let things go — maybe my house gets cluttered. Maybe I have stacks of papers not filed. Maybe something could be more perfect. All in all, I feel like things balance out and eventually what rises to the top is what matters most.

Tell us about your work or volunteerism outside of the home.

I never meant to own a business, but the recession led to unemployment and that led to making money through contract work and that led to more contract work and eventually, I was a business owner. Now, we have several hundred clients and six employees, sometimes more. It’s hard and messy, and we’ve been through too many trials the last five years. I would not do it again, as it’s very hard and very stressful, but I love helping people and learning constantly and now that I’m here, it’s not easy to think of doing anything else. Though I do want to someday. I’d love to write more often and make a go at a novel.

As for volunteering, I have been a Rotarian for 15 years. I’m currently the Public Relations Director of Southtowne Rotary in Eugene and the District 5110 Public Image Chair. I’m also very involved in my church. I direct all the communications, am a youth leader and help put on community/neighborhood events. I also coordinate our giving tree and help with whatever is needed. Once in a while, I also mentor at Hosea Youth Services.

Do you have a goal you’d like to accomplish within the next five years?

I’d like to sell my business and write and perhaps consult or speak. I foresee grandkids in that time and want to have less stress in general. Cancer has taught me a lot, including what is most important and I’d really love to be around for a couple more decades.

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.

Tell us about your upbringing. How did it shape the mother you are today?

I grew up in Eugene. My parents were married until my dad died when I was 25. We lived in Santa Clara but I attended the Bethel schools including Willamette High School, the same as my mother. I was an only child. I had a huge extended family and was really close to my cousin who unfortunately passed away when I was 19.

Besides being focused on getting good grades, I played various sports and tried playing an instrument until I fell in love with tennis and basketball. I played tennis throughout high school. I am the classic Generation X. My childhood was very independent — latch key, out until the wee hours with friends, walked to and from school, my babysitter after about third grade was MTV. Both my parents worked.

Like most of my friends, I was more involved with my kids and took them on as many adventures, to as many events and places as I could. They didn’t have the freedoms I did, intentionally. Mostly because I did a lot of crazy stuff! I feel like I’ve been a slightly different and perhaps better parent to each kid...they are 6 to 7 years apart, and my personal evolution affected how I parented.

What do you think is the most important life skill or value your parents taught you?

To serve others. I learned this most from my dad.

What is one thing you never had that you want for your kids?

Financial freedom.

If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, in which event would you win a gold medal?

Doing too much.

Tell us something about you that would surprise people who don’t know you.

I love being alone.

What keeps you up at night (apart from kids, of course)?

Money. Work. Concerns about people in my life. Menopause.

What keeps you sane?

Friends. Nature. Moments of bliss. My dog. Exploring and learning.

Listen to mom.

Is motherhood what you expected? What surprised you the most?

Motherhood is much harder than I expected. I think I’ve been most surprised by how much guilt I’ve felt

for things out of my control or for decisions I made in my life and am still making in my life.

What’s the best advice you’ve received from another mom? Kind of goes with my favorite inspirational quote. Nothing lasts forever. Not diapers. Not moody teenagers. However, as I got older, I realized how much I would miss things that didn’t last. I mean, I don’t miss dirty diapers but I miss that stage and every other stage, too. So even though it’s comforting when you’re frustrated, it’s sad when those stages pass.

What advice would you give your younger mom self? What do you wish you knew then that you know now?

I remember when I was a new mom. I was only 23 and had no idea what I was doing. We had a lot of help but I remember I was absolutely terrible about not wanting anyone to wake Emily when she was napping so no noise could be present during those times. Fast forward to when I would take Levi to movie theaters as an infant, and he’d sleep through the whole thing.

My biggest advice is listen to advice and relax. You can do everything you did before with a baby. You just need a bit more patience and flexibility.

What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2022, I decided not to tell my kids or my mom until after Christmas and some travel my daughter had planned. At the time, I hadn’t been to any doctor’s appointments beyond the biopsy that confirmed the diagnosis.

Telling them was harder than almost anything else. Still, it was a relief once I finally worked up the nerve. My daughter became my greatest support, putting everything aside to be there for me. Jensen stepped into a calm, grounding role — always present, always helping. Levi brought fun and distraction, and he and Jensen quietly formed a pact: they believed I’d be okay, and that belief helped carry me.

Coming out of surgery — the first step in my treatment — I was struck by this overwhelming joy: I had a chance. A chance to see my kids grow, to witness Emily’s wedding, to simply be here. I’m still grateful every day. To say my kids got me through is not just a pretty sentiment, it’s the truth. Being a mom is the biggest blessing of my life. And that’s the thing about motherhood — our love may not cure the illness, but it can carry us through the darkest parts of it.

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MOM’s favorite…

Tell us about your favorite…

…family game: Ticket to Ride, Catan, Uno

…words to live by: Life is an adventure.

…binge-worthy TV or podcast: The Great British Bake-Off

…way to get out of making dinner: Choose not to make dinner

…inspirational quote: Nothing lasts forever, not even your troubles.

…time-saving app or digital tool: AI

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MOMs love local…

We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite…

…shop to pick up a gift for friend: Daffodil Romantasy Books and Gifts, Luxe, Chuck & Alice, McKenzie Honey Farm & Gifts

…coffee spot: Southpine Bakery

…hair salon: Bloom Hair Studio

…restaurant to take the kids: Chapala Mexican, Hole in the Wall BBQ, Roaring Rapids Pizza

…restaurants for a date night: Jazzy Ladies Café & Club

…take-out, food truck or quick bite: SweetBay Shave Ice, O’My Mini Donuts

…meetup spot for happy hour: Heritage Distilling Company, Thinking Tree Spirits, Marché, SIP

…local park where kids can let off steam: Bond Lane Park, Amazon Park

…events in your community: Market Fest, Scandinavian Festival, concerts in the park and community events at Bethesda Lutheran Church

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