Caroline Fithen

This mom is learning that life has a way of forcing you to meet yourself.

Family comes first.

All families are unique. Tell us about yours.

Our family is made up of me, my girls Lizzy and Harper, and our dog Kya, a fun and loving pit bull. I also have a son, AJ, in heaven. We love being outside, exploring and trying new things together. Lizzy loves Minecraft and science, and Harper loves testing her body’s limits — always climbing, jumping or twirling off of something.

Every family has its own traditions, rituals or inside jokes. What are some of yours?

We have a mix of simple traditions and everyday rituals. Lizzy and I have our Minecraft game dates, and for celebrations we’ll go to Menchie’s or let each person pick their favorite foods for special dinner/lunch. We like taking turns choosing meals each week and one or two new foods to try — this week it’s okra, last week it was Vienna sausages that we’ll likely never do again. Dinner time is one of our favorite rituals where we say a prayer and then each share our “rose” (something good from the day), “thorn” (something challenging, disappointing or unpleasant), and “bud” (something we’re looking forward to). And in between it all, there’s a lot of silliness, inside jokes, and making each other laugh.

Tell us about one of your proudest mom moments.

One of my proudest mom moments is over-hearing my girls work through disagreements on their own — taking turns, listening and figuring it out together. It’s so meaningful when I hear them using the language they’re learning, showing patience and supporting each other in how they communicate, espec-ially after big emotions or hard moments.

Now tell us about one of your most humbling mom moments.

Any moment I think I have every-thing planned out, my kids or life have away of reminding me to stay flexible. It’s a constant lesson in humility, adaptability and learning to laugh when things don’t go as expected.

What is the most surprising thing you have found wedged between the sofa cushions or behind a car seat?

In the pocket on the back of my seat, at first touch, I thought they were sticks off the beach, but it was actually pieces of an old sandwich, like petrified wood. Ew! Thankfully it was primarily crust, and the jelly wasn’t on there, either.

You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say…

Boogers go in Kleenex, not the window.

What are you enjoying the most about parenting right now?

Getting to know my kids better and seeing them shine in their individual ways. Now that we’re in preschool phase for Harper, and Lizzy is in elementary school, I have more bandwidth for planning and taking them out to new adventures that don’t require the same cognitive load of coordinating strollers, bottles, pumps, a million clothes, wipes, etc. We can hop in the car and go, and if we forget something

or they get dirty, they adapt to it much differently. It’s refreshing to live a little more, not clean up or anticipate so many bodily fluid moments.

No one works harder than mom.

We know that being a mom is a full-time job. How do you balance (or not) motherhood, activities, work, volunteering, household responsibilities, and life in general? What sometimes falls through the cracks?

Balance? Ha ha, what is that?! The past few years required a lot of pivots as we navigated shifting needs and support, so it was more about focusing on what mattered most than trying to do it all. It has also been extremely helpful and fun to prioritize relationships and partnerships in alignment with this season, which has been a learning experience. Over the years this has meant stepping back in work periodically, or changing work that wasn’t flexible. Last year I left my role as a mental health clinician to focus primarily on building out Facing Giants to allow me some flexibility in navigating the evolving needs of the girls.

What often falls through the cracks is communication outside the home — following up and staying responsive to others. Also, keeping the house as clean as I’d like. There’s an ebb and flow to it, and I’ve learned to give myself grace and focus on what matters most.

Tell us about your work or volunteerism outside of the home.

Outside of the home, I’m the Founder and Executive Director of Facing Giants and Too Beautiful for Earth in Eugene, where my work centers on supporting women, children and families through prevention, harm reduction and com-munity-based support before, during,

and after adversity.

At Facing Giants, I work with providers, educators and practitioners to create child-focused, trauma-responsive spaces and programming that help families feel supported not just in crisis, but before hardship begins and long after it ends. Through play, sensory support, parent education, creative arts and community groups, we focus on helping kids and families build resilience, healthy relationships, emotional regulation, boundaries, nonviolent communication, body safety, autonomy and self-trust — giving children and youth the tools to better understand themselves, stand firm in who they are, and navigate life with more confidence and connection. Too Beautiful for Earth offers more specialized bereavement support for families experiencing infant and child loss, including a dedicated bereavement room, an infant loss memorial wall, and grief support groups for parents, grandparents, and families navigating loss.

I also work one-on-one with a limited number of women through SRS for Women, supporting those navigating divorce, custody and family law transitions through strategic intensives and longer-term support. At the heart of all of it, my work is about helping families feel less alone and building stronger community in, through and beyond adversity.

When was the last time you failed? What did you learn?

I fail daily — from forgetting something on my grocery list to missing my turn because I’m deep in managing shifting logistics and life with kids. I’ve learned that failure is often just part of being fully engaged in life, not proof that you’re doing it wrong.

The bigger failure, though, was believing for too long that I wasn’t capable of leading a household, raising my children well or building a business. I carried an ingrained belief that I needed someone else to make things work or that I somehow wasn’t equipped for the responsibility in front of me. What I’ve learned is that if I truly wasn’t capable, I wouldn’t be here doing it. Life has a way of forcing you to meet yourself. I’ve learned that strength often shows up long before confidence does, and sometimes you realize you were capable only because you had no choice but to keep going.

Do you have a goal you’d like to accomplish within the next five years?

For the business, I’d love for Facing Giants to expand into a larger facility with more private rooms, more space for individual experiences and adult access to our sensory room and other supportive spaces. Personally, I would love to own property up the McKenzie with acreage. Years ago, I had property in Creswell and planned to use it to host groups and circles in a more rural setting. That particular property didn’t work out as expected, but the vision never left.

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.

Tell us about your upbringing. How did it shape the mother you are today?

I had a loving and steady mother, and one of the greatest things she gave me was her consistency and resource-fulness. No matter what we were navigating, she always found creative ways to make things work, solve problems, and keep moving forward. That resilience shaped

me deeply and is a big part of why I’m so resourceful today.

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

Last week when I jumped off the high deck at Defy.

Last week when I jumped off the high deck at Defy.

When you throw cheeseballs into the air and catch them in your mouth. Our family loves doing this, and our dog particularly loves this event.

What keeps you sane?

My Bible, music and nature.

Tell us something about you that would surprise people who don’t know you.

I cannot burp. Trust me, we tried; During my childhood, my sister would try to help me drink and eat many things that resulted in misery on my end and loud and proud burps on hers.

What is something you think everyone should

do at least once in their lives?

Move away from home before you get married and give adventure a shot.

If you could instantly have one new skill (i.e. foreign language, musical talent, eyes in the back of your head, etc.), what would it be?

The ability to function fully on less sleep.

Listen to mom.

Is motherhood what you expected? What surprised you the most?

Motherhood has been more challenging than I expected in navigating different personalities and stages, but it’s also been one of the greatest joys watching my kids become their own people. What surprised me most was the mental load — and how much your environment and relationships can shape both the experience and your connection with your kids.

What’s the best advice you’ve received from another mom?

That I’m not meant to be everything for my children. My role is to guide and support them, while trusting and encouraging that they’ll find relationships and experiences that help them grow.

What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is.

You don’t have to do all the things, and you don’t have to get it right all the time. Your kids need you, not perfection. Your environment matters more than we often realize. When it’s supportive, everything feels lighter — for you and your kids. And when it’s not, it’s okay to notice that and move toward something that better supports you both.

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MOMs love local…

We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite…

…shop to pick up a gift for a friend: Hirons

…hair salon: Confetti Crown

…restaurant to take the kids: Menchie’s, Papa’s Pizza, Red Robin

…take-out, food truck or quick bite: Ta-Ra-Rin, El Charro, Cafe Agora, Tie Dyed Chef

…local parks where kids can let off steam: Willamalane Skate Park, Arrow Park

…any other local places you love: Low Key Music Studio, Springfield Library

MOM’s favorite…

Tell us about your favorite…

…family game: Memory Match, Uno & Trouble

…place to find some peace & quiet: Along the McKenzie River, especially Hendricks Bridge Park

…binge-worthy TV: Big Bang Theory, The Rookie

…inspirational quote: Forget all the reasons it won’t work and believe the one reason it will.