Caleea Kidder

Three kids, two cultures and one annual family summit. This mom is parenting with intention.

Family comes first.

All families are unique. Tell us about yours.

My husband and I have been friends since high school, though we only got together after college. We’ve been married 14 years but friends for 26!

Our oldest, Oscar, is obsessed with basketball — he plays year-round and spends most of his free time practicing, playing with friends, or watching games on TV. He is also a kind, intelligent and thoughtful person. He is great with animals and little kids. The only thing that even comes close to his love of basketball is his love of our family dog, Peaches. Mabel is 10 and is born to be a star. She never backs away from the spotlight. She’s started choir and theater this year and has been loving it. She also swims like a fish and rides horses. Willie is starting third grade this fall and has a gifted mind for puzzles and problem solving. She also rides horses and has dabbled in both basketball and softball but hasn’t really latched on to either. She is also an animal lover and is obsessed with her guinea pigs.

Every family has its own traditions, rituals or inside jokes. What are some of yours?

We celebrate the winter solstice with some traditions that honor our Scandinavian roots, and then we also celebrate winter holidays with a nod to our African heritage. So we’re likely to eat both Swedish meatballs and collard greens in December and also bring in Hoppin’ John for New Year’s Eve.

Every New Year’s Eve we also have a Kidder Family Summit. It’s a time where we look at our family values and talk about whether we want to keep the same ones for the coming year or make adjustments. Everyone contributes, and we all sign a commitment to upholding our family values. We’ve been doing this since they were toddlers, and it’s become an important part of calibrating as a family. The 2025 values are honesty, commitment, equity, gratitude, kindness, independence, play and creativity.

When did you know you wanted to be a mom?

Always. I was raised an only child (though I have much younger half-siblings), and I knew I wanted to raise a family with more than one child. I’ve also been influenced by the powerful women in my orbit, who showed me the impact and power of a mother.

In what way are your children like you? How are they different?

I see a lot of myself in my kids. They are all pretty high achieving but also hard on themselves. I’m trying to give them some skills that I’ve built over the years to help manage that desire to be great with the ability to give yourself grace. They’re all also very social, and they are much more aware of their feelings and of social justice issues than I was at their age. That schools now teach about feelings, cooperation and empathy goes a long way. I also think socially it’s just more normal for kids to talk about mental health and their identities.

What are you enjoying the most about parenting right now?

I am loving their independence. Seeing the amount of things that they can do for themselves is impressive. Whether it’s cooking for themselves, taking on household chores, or taking care of animals, it all fills my heart with pride and excitement for their futures.

No one works harder than mom.

We know that being a mom is a full-time job. How do you balance (or not) motherhood, activities, work, volunteering, household responsibilities, and life in general? What sometimes falls through the cracks?

I struggle with this. I tend to be a “yes” person and so I can get very busy and burn myself out. Over the years I have gotten better about recognizing when I need to say “no.” A piece of advice I got in my 20s was that when I start to feel bitter, that means I need to scale back and set some boundaries. It’s been a game changer for self-monitoring.

Tell us about a recent achievement you’re proud of, or a personal passion or talent.

I am passionate about food! I love learning about the ways our food today tells us stories about our heritage. I think there is so much value in growing your own food and herbs, processing and preserving them, and then sharing them with loved ones.

Tell us about your work or volunteerism outside of the home.

I sit on the City of Corvallis JEDI board (Justice, Equity, Diversity and Inclusion). We weigh in on lots of different aspects of city government from proclamations to city-sponsored grants. Even though I live in Philomath, working at a school in Corvallis means that a lot of my life is spent there. Plus, my students all live in Corvallis, so I wanted to be involved in understanding more about the city and be able to bring issues to the table that I see impacting my students.

I also serve as board president for the local nonprofit KinCultivate, which is dedicated to nurturing the growth and positive racial identity development of youth of African descent. I met Ty, the executive director, when I first moved to Oregon, and she and I have connected over a shared passion for ensuring our kids and other Black youth in the area have affinity spaces where they can build a positive sense of identity.

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.

Tell us about your upbringing. How did it shape the mother you are today?

I am my mom’s only child, and it was just her and I for most of my life. This means I was often included in decision making and allowed to have a lot of independence. We have definitely been intentional about including our kids in our decision making, and have also expected them to be pretty independent. One thing that is different is navigating a house with three different kids. I think my mom was able to tailor routines and household expectations to my needs and strengths since I was the only child. It is a different situation when you have three kids at different developmental stages, and who are very different people with different strengths!

Where did you grow up, and how did it influence you?

I grew up in Saint Paul, Minnesota, which neighbors Minneapolis. Together they’re known as the Twin Cities. I very much identify as a “city kid,” though you wouldn’t know it by my little forest home with all my chickens and my venison in the freezer. Growing up in the city in Minnesota is a weird experience. It’s a diverse place. There’s a lot more Black folks than there are where I currently live — though it’s still a very white state overall. The Twin Cities is the heart of the American Indian Movement that started in the 70s, and the presence of Native people and culture was always natural for me. I didn’t realize that was not the norm until I left Minnesota. There’s also a large Hmong and Somali immigrant population in Saint Paul, as well as a long-standing Chicano presence on the West Side. The rich diversity of races, ethnicities and cultures meant that a broad spectrum of cultural expectations — including those related to spirituality, manners, fairness, time, emotional expression and mental wellness — were normalized for me. My kids wouldn’t get exposed to all those diverse ways of being in our current town or at their current school, so I have to be really intentional about getting them out and into spaces that are different from what they see in our little bubble.

What do you think is the most important life skill or value your parents taught you?

Growing up my mom always said something to the effect of “You get more bees with honey than with vinegar.” She’s always encouraged me to be polite, kind, grateful and humble — not just because that’s a good way to move through the world, but also because it can be a strategy to get what you need.

If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, in which event would you win a gold medal?

Tetris. I don’t know how to explain how much I love that game.

Tell us something about you that would surprise people who don’t know you.

People are surprised that I am fluent in Spanish. I attended a bi-lingual school from K-12, and then majored in Spanish studies in college. I spent time in Spain, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico, Mexico and on the US/Mexico border. Every job I have had since leaving college has allowed me to use my Spanish skills. I now get to use them while supervising the bilingual program at Linus Pauling Middle School.

What is your greatest extravagance?

I love an extravagant meal. Oysters, a good steak, champagne. That’s what I most often want

for a celebration like a birthday.

What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Spend time in another country, and not as a tourist. Do an internship, a job or live with a host family. Getting outside the U.S. gives you such a valuable perspective on our culture and society.

Listen to mom.

What advice would you give your younger mom self? What do you wish you knew then that you know now?

I would tell my younger self not to take things too seriously. There were a lot of little decisions that I let stress me out when I was a younger mom: what foods to let them eat, what shows to let them watch. What has mattered most is being consistent about being present, and letting them know that I am here and that my love for them is unconditional.

What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is.

This too shall pass. When you’re going through something hard with your kids, know that it won’t last forever. When things are going great, be mindful and present, because that also won’t last forever!

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MOM’s favorite…

Tell us about your favorite…

…family game: My kids love to play Life, but I love to play cards. I’ve been working with Willie, my youngest, on how to play spades.

…words to live by: You always have a choice.

…place to find some peace & quiet: In a hammock in the forest.

…parenting book or philosophy: You can’t spoil your kid by giving them too much love. I love my kids hard and tell them so often.

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MOMs love local…

We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite…

…shop to pick up a gift for a friend: Restyle

…coffee spot: Coffee Culture

…restaurant to take the kids: They love the moving belt of sushi at Sugoi.

…restaurants for a date night: del Alma

…take-out, food truck or quick bite: Birdie’s Pizza

…meetup spot for happy hour: Taco Vino

…event in your community: Juneteenth at LBCC

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