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Actively learning to know your children

While culture and trends change and we work to understand their impact on kids, some things remain constant, like the importance of knowing our children deeply.

In each phase of development, I have had to relearn elements of who my children are and remain intentional about knowing their hearts, thoughts and interests. By making this a priority, I find my children are more secure in their relationships with adults and in their feelings about themselves. A few things I’ve learned along the way…

  • Seek to understand before trying to be understood. Be fully present without devices and distractions.

  • Listen when children are little if you want them to talk to you when they are older. Establish a safe space to talk so they will feel comfortable asking tough questions later.

  • When children have a problem, remember they are not the problem. Support them without trying to fix them or do it for them.

  • Unconditionally love and value your children. They should not have to prove their value to you. Watch that your words do not shame, blame or minimize who they are created to be.

  • Prioritize progress and effort, not perfection.

  • Parent with grace and mercy. Be quick to forgive and ask to be forgiven when you mess up.

Children are human beings, not human doings. Who your child is, is vastly more important than what they do!


Brought to you by:

AnnaMarie Gosser

Santiam Christian Elementary Principal 541-745-5524 x 243


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